Love

Love isn't real. Its a figment of our imagination, or just a feeling we force onto ourselves, to either have a better future or just to live within the present. Love, its a strong word. With countless meanings, towards all sorts of people. Your partner, your family, your friends. And whats odd is that, its all a different kind of love, even if its said with the same word. The same power, the same strength.

Or, thats just the bullshit we believe.

I don't believe in it anymore. Its all just fictional to me. All the "i love you"s i got this year, even the past few years, just proved to me that not everyone means what they say. No matter where it can come from. Its all just bullshit. No matter how much you mean it, or how much you want to believe the other person, sometimes it just doesn't mean anything. And i've come to realise that, you can't force anyone to love you. No matter how much you try, if they don't want to love you, they just won't.

And its okay, its okay not to be loved the same way, its okay not to have someone fight for you as much as you would fight for them. Its okay to not be able to prove your worth to someone who just doesn't care about you. Its okay to lose people who don't mind leaving. Its all okay, because the right people, the people who care and love you, will always be there for you, even if they don't love you the way you want them to. If they're there, they're there.

Its okay to be in pain, to feel hurt, to feel unworthy, not enough. Because there will always be a time in your life, maybe even more than a few times, that you will have to go through these kind of things, to go through trial and errors with relationships, but its okay. One day, it'll all be worth it. Everything you've been through, it'll be worth it.

So even if i don't believe in love, someone out there does. And maybe one day i'll start believing in it again. But for now, i just need to believe in myself. I'm all i have, all i got.