Dreams
Recently, i've been dreaming a lot. Maybe its all the drama's and series i've been watching. But its been, a whole lot of day dreaming than actual reality. Yeah i have been trying to figure out life and actually think about my future, but it doesn't hurt to dream, sometimes right?
I've been dreaming a lot about what can be, what i might be if i was a certain person or how would i feel if i went through different situations, if i wasn't in Malaysia. God, these series' are getting to my head. I literally just finished watched Glee, and finished like 2 seasons of 2 different shows yesterday, and its just 8.17 am now. Yeah yeah, i know what you might think, what the fuck is this girl doing, jobless for 6 months and binge watching shows, does she not have a life or friends?
Well, i beg to differ. I think i might have it more than i think. Yeah i get jealous, looking at people who have friends, a job. But i'm still young, still looking for whats in store for me. Nothing is permanent. Still looking for the job i'd love to keep for years to come. I've grown up feeding myself with a perfect future, at least at where i saw myself. A perfect husband, perfect home, perfect kids, perfect job. And recently (well years actually) i've been nothing but letting myself down. This isn't the kind of future i predicted for myself, at 23.
But here i am, 23, jobless, and still partying with kids way younger than i am. Still having fake friends and spending most of my time at home, doing anything i can to avoid thinking about my future. Yeah yeah, its depressing and unhealthy, but its a step. I know i need to find myself, and i will. I'm tired too, of dragging it on and on throughout the years. But better late than never right? I know one day i'm going to look back and just be like "woah i did it". I know i can do it. I know i'm capable of amazing things.
I'm nothing special, not the prettiest, or the smartest, or the most hard working. But, i have dreams. Too much of it really, and it'll be a reality one day. I know it.
I've been dreaming a lot about what can be, what i might be if i was a certain person or how would i feel if i went through different situations, if i wasn't in Malaysia. God, these series' are getting to my head. I literally just finished watched Glee, and finished like 2 seasons of 2 different shows yesterday, and its just 8.17 am now. Yeah yeah, i know what you might think, what the fuck is this girl doing, jobless for 6 months and binge watching shows, does she not have a life or friends?
Well, i beg to differ. I think i might have it more than i think. Yeah i get jealous, looking at people who have friends, a job. But i'm still young, still looking for whats in store for me. Nothing is permanent. Still looking for the job i'd love to keep for years to come. I've grown up feeding myself with a perfect future, at least at where i saw myself. A perfect husband, perfect home, perfect kids, perfect job. And recently (well years actually) i've been nothing but letting myself down. This isn't the kind of future i predicted for myself, at 23.
But here i am, 23, jobless, and still partying with kids way younger than i am. Still having fake friends and spending most of my time at home, doing anything i can to avoid thinking about my future. Yeah yeah, its depressing and unhealthy, but its a step. I know i need to find myself, and i will. I'm tired too, of dragging it on and on throughout the years. But better late than never right? I know one day i'm going to look back and just be like "woah i did it". I know i can do it. I know i'm capable of amazing things.
I'm nothing special, not the prettiest, or the smartest, or the most hard working. But, i have dreams. Too much of it really, and it'll be a reality one day. I know it.
Comments
Post a Comment
Comment: