Quiet

Its quiet;
The sound from my speakers as they bounce off my grey walls.
Music;
Rattling away, no meaning, just like empty calls.

Its tiring, thinking and thinking, and nothing makes sense;
Feels like the world is against me, picking at me.
The way everyone looks at me;
Sometimes, its a way, i'd like to see.

If they were right about me;
If what they were seeing, saying, were lies.
I want to know the truth;
To know what they know, see through their eyes.

It hurts;
Knowing all i did was my best.
But right at my footsteps;
God is giving me his ultimate test.

Goals;
I grew up thinking i knew what i wanted.
But life, it had other plans;
My prayers, the way god responded.

Its true;
Nothing will go as planned.
But i'm tired;
Sometimes i just wish, i had a friend, a hand.

I look around, my mind wondering freely;
Occasionally hurting me, breaking me, killing me.
Here and there i wonder;
Its unforeseen, may or not be, but will i ever, be free.

Bottling up;
I grew up with restrictions, no you can, no you cannot.
I was always the nice one;
Nodding, even though my head was getting hot.

Treat people the way you want them to treat you, as my mother always says;
Is it the truth, or just the safest way.
From living all this time, time hasn't been kind;
All i have learnt is what to say, and never go astray.

Fire;
The hatred, the negative feelings inside of me, trying to get out, a furore.
And i'm scared of what it'd do to me;
If i were to hurt someone, would i feel inferior?

I'm not that kind of person;
The kind to hurt people around me.
But who am i to say anything;
People around me would definitely disagree.