Heavy path

So hello. Well, my morning didn't exactly go as planned. But hey, at least its ending the way it should. So, maybe me and Arman breaking up isn't exactly a big deal. I mean, we still love each other right? And i know, deep deep down that whatever it is, we'll go through it together. I believe in His decisions. I mean, its just a label? And its to protect me. To keep me away from things that would drag me to a wrong path. I believe, one day, we'll see a clear path. No matter how far the walk, how deep the ocean, how tired the advanture, i'll do it. The whole way. No matter how many tears i'll shed. He's worth it. Everything i have.

I mean, yeah, i had to think this through. I had a lot of time to think and all. I'd be lying if i said i didn't cry or felt hurt. I definitely did. And i came up with alot of mixed up imaginations in my head. Happy ones, sad ones. But yknow, everything happens for a reason. Allah wouldn't ever put me in a situation He thinks i can't handle. So i believe, that whatever it is, with faith and prayers, everything will be alright. I'm sure of it.

Arman decided to go and pursue Physcology and i'm so happy for him. At least he finally decided what to do. I'm so happy for him. So so happy. Even my mom supports him. Which is, in a way, highly amazing. I told her everything about Arman, his siblings, mom, dad, what happened in the morning, everything. (Yes, i'd rather not write down what happened in the morning) And she seems more, open to him. In which, obviously, makes me so happy. I know he doubted his decisions and all, but i hope whatever decision he makes in the present and future, it'll bring him great fortune and wealth, insyaAllah.

Arman Iskandar 

Yknow, tbh, Arman, you give me so much inspiration. You're the light to my tunnel. I have learnt so much from you. You opened my heart in so many ways. Yeah, we made mistakes, but look at us now. At least we're trying to fix a jar that cracked. Usually people just leave it to be, until it shatters. But you, you want to try. Even after what your dad said. You're an amazing person. You really are. You're so mature in your decisions and thinking. You're strong, you're bold, you're... Amazing. And you always tell me that i have mother material. But sayang, you have more parent material in one finger than i have in my whole body. I'm so fortunate to have you around. I really am. I really hope, our chapter does not end, and Allah has so much more instore for us. I love you so much, and my love for you isn't decreasing one bit. I trust you hundred percent in all of the decisions that you make. Whatever path you choose, i'll be right beside you. Hey, like they always say, who's Romeo without Juliet? I'm so sorry if i ended up hurting you with whatever i said, or however i acted today. I'm so sorry. I just thought that if we broke up, we have nothing left. Empty, yknow. But you told me otherwise. I have never felt so much love from someone. My family, yeah. Thats normal. But its from you, a guy i just got to know a few months back. The guy who changed absolutely everything for me. The guy who owns my heart. But whatever it is, even if we end up not talking for a few weeks, we still have each other by heart. I know this sounds all cheesy and all, but you're my happiness, my missing puzzle piece. Remember sayang, no ocean is too deep to cross if we have the willpower to overcome the impossible. I'll try my best. I really will. To be a good friend, sister, cousin, wife and mother. I really will. I'll try waking up early, i'll try sleeping early, i'll try to focus on studies, i'll do anything. Remember our promise? No matter how hard the obstacle, we can go through it together.

Its you and me, sayang.

InsyaAllah, forever.

And i may not have a way with words and can't exactly explain everything i feel in just one post, but trust me when i tell you.

I love you, Arman Iskandar.